~Truly Living~

How Do You REALLY Know?

2009-11-04T14:44:00.000-08:00

Is it possible to really know who you're going to marry while dating in college? This question is the topic of at least one conversation a day with my class mates. I am a completely neutral party because I sincerely have no idea. I have never felt the cliché feeling of “you just know.” What does that mean? It seems impossible being 20 years old still figuring out who am and what I want to do with my life to truly know who I’m supposed to be with for the rest of my life. My parents always told me to wait until after college to really take a relationship seriously, but how do I do that when every person at Liberty University is searching for their spouse.

How do you decide who will be your forever partner when you don’t even fully know yourself yet?

Why do we take life so seriously in college?

Why is singleness considered a burden in college?

Ehow website consists of a short video that gives a small description on why singleness is a blessing while attending college.

I don’t feel like I know anything about love or how to maturely handle situations that you encounter in relationships. I’m not presently in a relationship because I feel the Lord has so much for me to learn before I’ll be suitable for the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. This is the only time of life where, I only have to worry about me and my happiness. I don’t have a family, husband, or real-life finances to boggle down all my time. This is a precious phase in my life to learn and grow in my relationship with Christ. Now don’t misunderstand, I desire true love some day, but am I really responsible or mature enough to cherish it and commit my heart? The boundless website discusses many things necessary to consider before deciding if it’s the right time for a serious relationship.

The Lord calls us to guard our hearts, but how do you truly love someone if you always have walls up? I’m beginning to think that people just say the cliché saying, “you just know” because they don’t know the answers to the real questions. After watching and living through heart-ache over the confusing question of whether the love was real; I’m beginning to wonder if my idealist way of living leads only to disappointment.

Wait. That doesn’t sound like faith in the God that passionately pursues my heart every day. No matter how many questions and doubts I have wising around in my head every day Christ always reminds me of his unfailing love. I may be considered a dreamer with unrealistic expectations, but it seems that I might just have to have faith in the cliché that someday I’ll just know and accept that love will never be logical. I’ve learned to stop planning my future and searching for my happiness in man. I find my security and identity in my first true love, Jesus Christ. This youtube video demonstrates God’s unconditional love for us; never let the desire for a relationship replace your pursuit of truly knowing Christ.

“Learning to sit still, Resting in His will,

Confident to abide, With Him by my side,

Resisting manipulation,

Waiting only for His stipulations.”

-Jackie Kendall

"Wisdom is More Precious than Rubies"

2009-07-01T20:56:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 8: 10-11 : Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can campare to her.

Proverbs 2:8 He guards the course of the just and protects the ways of the faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair.

I have gained so much knowledge and wisdom from this trip. I believe that wisdom is the greatest thing on this earth to obtain. The Lord is constantly teaching me something new and showing me how to appreciate his disipline. Lately I've been spending my days shopping for all my last minute souveniers in the markets because everything is so cheap! But at night I've had a lot of time to spend with the Lord and have more personal conversations with my family. My mom and I have a very affectionate relationship. I think this why I feel so at home because my mom in the states is the same way. It has been raining a lot at night and we have a tin rough so I like staying up to listen while I spend time with the Lord. I once heard the Bible called a book of love letters from God and didn't really understand, but now is a different story. Everytime I read the Bible I get chills because I can feel the Lord filling me with wisdom and showing me the type of person he wants me to become. I find myself never wanting to stop reading. Before this trip I could never feel God close to me, he was always distant and I couldnt understand it. I was putting my heart in other areas of my life so much that I had forgotten how important it was for my spiritual growth to always be searching for wisdom from God. O man, I could go on forever! :)

I started back at thh high school today teaching English. It was pretty nerve racking because I was the only American that went today. Last time there was two other girls. This time it was just me. So I had little to no English at the high school. And the english teacher left me to teach English to a class of about 16 boys by myself! I was pretty nervous at first, but they had to read a story in English and I graded their pronunciation. Then I helped them translate the English into Spanish. It went pretty smoothly. The rest of the day was pretty crazy because the boys were in my face a lot and the girls were overly affectionate, they also tried to talk about inappropriate things with me sometimes. It was definitly out of my comfort zone. :) But teenagers are like that sometimes. Life is amazing here, but I am missing home and my family! Only three more days until I come back to the states! I pray I just keep on growing this summer! I love it!

Hebrews 6 :10 -12

God is not unjust, he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show the same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. WE do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

Wisdom is my prize!

Developing True Friendships!

2009-06-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

I have had a busy week! This past Saturday I climbed a volcano near a city called Chiqimula with 4 of my friends from Liberty! It was about an hour and half hike up the volcano. It was beautiful, the middle of the hole was actually a lake! It was something I'll never forget. Then me and my friend Chelsea went to Llano Verde for a 21st birthday party of one our friends that lives in Llano Verde. It was kinda of scarey because we had to take 2 different buses to get there and at night the city is pretty dangerous. But God protected us and we made it there safely. The party was so much fun!! I danced for 3 hours! We did all sorts of latin style dances with the local guys that came to the party! I learned a lot of new dance moves. ; ) The next day me and chelsea spent the whole afternoon in the big city of Chiqimula where we shopped in the mall! Things are so cheap here compared to the states. It was such a fun, relaxing weekend.

The past couple days I've been working in the orphanage. I'm getting so close with the kids. I love the kids there they appreciate every little thing! I wish I could bring all of them back! There was one little boy, named Santiago, yesterday that wanted to use my camera bag for his marbles so I told him I'd get him one in the market. Today I bought a little bag that was only 10 quetzales ( which is 1 $) and he went crazy! I got lots of kisses! haha Its so funny the young boys here are so affectionate! I love it!

I'm starting to have this amazing relationship with my friend Karla she's only 22. She lives at my house becase she works in the market and her house is too far. She comes in my room every night and we talk forever about everything, like: boys, our families, and what we want in the future. We are becoming best friends! I love her! She's such a wise and determined young lady. She inspires me so much. Last night I told her a lot about the tough things I had to face this past semester and about the people who had let me down in how they had chosen to live their lives.
"in spanish" :) Then she told me about things in her life that had hurt her heart. In both our situations we had put all our faith in a boy and learned the hard way that boys can be selfish because they're human. Only God deserves your whole heart and its important to find your happiness and idenity in Him alone. After sharing such personal pieces of our lives I know our friendship will only grow! :) We're going out to eat tonight just us girls! Well, I'll be back in the states in only a week and a half! Can't believe it! Thank you for all your prayers! God is truly guiding every step I take!
~CRISTO TENIA MI CORAZON!~

2 Corinthians 4: 18
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. <3

God is ALL I need!

2009-06-19T18:53:00.000-07:00

I have been living with my new family for a little over a week now. I love every minute! I started a new job this week because the schools are closed because of the swine flu for two weeks. It was pretty intense I went to the orphange in the city with my friend Molly to see if we could work there. I had to have an interview in Spanish and fill out an application in Spanish! haha But everything went great! We started work there yesterday from 8am to 4pm. Its a long day, but the kida are amazing! I play "futbol" soccer with the boys and teach songs to the girls. Me and Molly feed the babies after lunch and just hold them until they go down for their naps. Its so fun! But it is a lot because the kids have a lot of energy all day. : ) You can tell every child has be through so much by the scars they have and the new kids look very malnuritioned. Today we finally got to take the kids out of the orphange. We walked all over the city with 50 kids it was interesting. :) My spanish is getting so much better! But I still get myself into some funny situations. For instance, yesterday a man asked me where I lived and asked for number. I answered: Yo no tengo un telephono y mi casa es muy muy lejos de aqui, no se donde es mi casa. hahaha, I said: I dont have a phone and my house is really far from here and I dont know where it is......He believed me. :) Life has been so good that I really know and have a peace that I am in God's will!! I love it! God is all I need!

Luke 17:33

Mi Nueva Familia es Maravillosa!

2009-06-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

I love my new family!! They are so amazing!! I live in the middle of the city of Zacapa and I live in a beautiful house. My dad is a veternarian across the street from my house. My mom is so sweet ad loving. I have three brothers 6, 16, and 20. I also have one sister who is 21. My older sister is so sweet. I can talk to her about anything and she took me with her and her friends to a movie last night in the city. It was like a drive through movie in a statium.
I work in the school of agricultural in the city. Its really fun and good for my Spanish, but really crazy because the majority of students are boys and my blonde hair is quite a catch here. :) I go to the classes for English and sit in a small group with about six teenagers ( all guys usually) and they ask me questions in English. I respond in English then explain in Spanish. This morning the students had to translate a story from English to Spanish that was pretty difficult for me. I had to help them translate English into Spanish. At night I have long talks with my friend Karla about our lives and how only God can provide true happiness. I really enjoy talking to my brother Pablo, he's 16 and very laid back and easy to talk to. My whole family is so loving. They are all so close, I love it. I couldn't ask for a better family! God just keeps on Blessing my life! <3

romans 12: 21 -I will overcome evil with good
Galatians 1:4 - I am delivered from the evils of the present world for it is the will of God. :)

~Getting ready for my NEW family!~

2009-06-06T14:53:00.001-07:00

I'm getting so excited for my new family!! I'll be moving into my new home on this tuesday! I know its going to be amazing. I'm a little nervous because I don't know them and they won't know any english so it will be interesting the first couple days. :) But I know I'll get to know them and the bonds I make with them will be amazing! Thursday was an intense day because we worked in Rosario all day. My friend bethany and I brought 3 girls to Christ and our soldier! It was incredible! Then I did my testimony in spanish and I got a couple amens so I guess that means they understood. :) Today was so nice, we took our final exam this morning and now we're home free for at least a little while. We got to relax all day for the first time by the pool. Then we had girls night tonight! All the girls dressed up, watched P.S. I love you and the boys were so sweet! They served us dinnerand treated us like princeses. I'm so blessed to be in this amazing group of young people! I don't know when I'll be able to post my next blog. Because I won't know when I'll have internet after I move in with my family. I'll have to find internet cafes. So please keep me in your prayers as I move into my new home on tuesday and start my new job. All I can say is GOD IS SO GOOD! <3

Psalms 37:24-25-God has me in the palm of his hand, I may stumble, but He will never let me fall.

God's Making Me STRONG

2009-06-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I made an incredible step. I was walking from house to house in a town called Rosario evangelizing and I really looked at myself and how much I have changed in the past couple months. When I came on this trip I was a weak girl learning what life was really about and I look at myself now and I am no longer a girl, I am a strong woman of God. Which is incredibly exciting for me! Last night was such a night of love in our devotions. Everyone in our group has gone through so many hard times in their personal lives and struggles here in Guatemala that we all just needed a night of encouragement. We all went around the group and we each talked about a quality we loved most about each individual in the group. There was lots of tears because the love and respect we have for each other was so evident.
Today was a very exhausting day we had to build a church in the poorest village yet. The majority of the children were covered in measles or other skin problems due to how dirty everything, especially there water was. I got very dyhidrated because the humidty was so bad, but I rested in the shade and drake lots of water and I was able to evangilize the rest of the day. Eight people came to Christ at that villlage!!!It was so exciting because I helped with 5 and was present for 2. God is so good! Many people that we told the gosple to said they were ready or they wanted to think about it, the people still need a lot of prayer. Hopefully the church we are building will give them a place to learn more about the incredible joy that is found in Christ.
I am so nervous for tomorrow! I have my post oral exam for my spanish class in the morning and I give my testimony, in spanish of course, tomorrow night. I've practiced a lot, I just pray God uses my testimony to open people's eyes to the fact that man can disappoint and let you down. God is the only one we should be completely be dependant on for our contentment and our happiness should be found in him. Suffering can strengthen your relationship with Christ because pain shows you that God has the best plan and you realize that you cannot rely of your emotions or your heart because they can mislead you. Its important to stop trusting self and run to God for the answers. Thank you to all those who are praying for me at home and all the encouragement. It helps so much! El mundo es dificil, pero Dios rescate sus ninos!

Santiago (james) 2: 2-4
Testimony verse

Best Mission Team Ever!

2009-05-28T17:00:00.000-07:00

I just realized that I haven't talked about how amazing my mission team is! Our whole group is like a family, we all take care of each other and encourage each other. During the heat of the day when we're all exhausted from our ministries we all take the time to check up on each other. Today we went to another village where the poverty was hard to handle. The people were very shy and seemed to be afraid of us. We presented our program and did VBS, but they were not very receptive. I was excited because I was able to talk a lot more spanish when we went house to hous in the village evangilizing. And this past tuesday we went to a big city called Chiqimula and eveanglized in the city. It was so much fun to explore the city and talk to a lot of the teenagers just getting out of school. Our devotions this week have been amazing! Everyone in our group is growing spiritually, its incredible to watch. I'm learning so much in every aspect of my life. After today in the village I am especially learning appreciation for being born in America.The bathroom was just a cement block in a small shack. And all the people were extremely dirty, there was one boy that was covered in scabs that had gotten infected due to not get properly cleaned. I'm glad God was able to use us in such a poverty stricken village.

Proverbs 28 - my life lesson this year

Becoming a Woman of God

2009-05-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

The past couple days have been challenging, but amazing for my growth in all areas. Satan has been attacking me and trying to distract me from my mission here in Guatemala. But he will never defeat me because God is making me so strong. I have decided to not let myself be effected by lost people back home. God has blessed me so much here, his faithfulness is indescribable. At the orphanage on friday I met this amazing young 14 yr old girl, named Marian, who is so smart and compassionate. She is supposed to be adopted soon and her future father came to visit on friday. He doesn't know any spanish, so it was so exciting to be there and be able to translate between this amazing american pastor and his future daughter. Saturday was tough, because the midterm was very difficult, but the waterfall made up for it. Our group hiked up a very intense trail to a 20 ft waterfall. Then we all jumped off it! It was incredible and I know it will be something I'll never forget. God is just constantly blessing my life even during the emotional times I feel him working. Being here stretches me so much. Tonight in devotions our group talked about how pride is the number one sign of immaturity and the value of humility. I confessed that my problem has been misunderstanding the difference between humility and getting walked over. I tend to give all of my self and love/trust a person without protecting myself. I realized tonight that I am finally taking care of myself. I can feel myself becoming a stronger woman of God. I read Proverbs 31 every day here because I desire to strive to become that kind of woman more than anything. Please pray for my spanish class, I am struggling to get through it, but I know if I work hard and trust that God will get me through I will succeed. AH! God is so good! I feel myself falling more and more in love with him every day. I love it! Even though the past 2 weeks have been extremely emotional I know God is teaching/growing me into the woman he wants me to become. :) Gloria a Dios! Mi esperanza esta en Cristo no en el hombre. <3

psalms 119:103-104
james 1:2-7

God is Working!!

2009-05-21T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today was incredible we went to a small village that was in intense poverty. We went out and evangelized in groups of three. The houses were not even houses they were made out of sticks and dirt, and who knows what else. It was so sad, but the people were amazing. My group didn't bring anyone to Christ, but we presented the gospel to everyone and planted seeds. We had VBS with over 120 children!! It was crazy! But the kids were so fun, but we had a hard time finding games because there was too many, haha. Then we did our program in the church that a group form 8 years ago built. God really touched my heart with the children in this village, they were covered in dirt, with no shoes, and barely any clothes, but all they wanted was to be loved. This whole week as been life changing. I'm in our skit as the lead and I'm teaching/presenting a dance called, "Cantar al Senor." So I did get a little overwhelmed this week. I do need prayer this weekend. Our midterm for spanish 497 is saturday morning and I'm very concerned because my spanish still needs a lot of work. So I need a lot of prayer on this exam. We never have any free time that's why I haven't been as dedicated as I wanted to be with this blog, so I appologize. Our schedule is never the same any day, haha God is working so much here. My relationship with the Lord is growing every second. I love it! I can feel God using me and my eyes fill up with tears every day because I'm so happy because I know I'm exactly where the Lord wants me to be.

Psalms 40:1-5
Hebrews 3

First Days in Guatemala

2009-05-12T22:11:00.000-07:00

It is so hard to write this blog because all I want to do is live every moment here in Llano Verde. Our home is high up in the mountains with tralechas, HUGE frogs, and bugs I've never seen before! Its gorgeous here though. It's like a mini paradise, jungle everywhere you look. The people here are so warm and friendly. I've got to use my spanish constantly. Yesterday we went to villages around our compound/mission home and promoted our vbs and youth programs were having in the school here. We went door to door and I had to talk a lot of spanish, it was exciting to be able to communicate with people in another language. The food has been incredible. The mission home spoils us compared to the poverty around us. Everything is very dirty, but the people here, especially the children are so happy. Today we painted a fence for 4 hours this morning, but it was fun bonding with the team. I love all the people on our team everyone has such a passion for the hispanic ministry and hearts for serving God no matter what the cost. This afternoon we went and visited the old person home and sang our spanish worship songs with them and did our skits. Even though I had trouble communicating with them all I had to do was hug them, smile at them, or show any kind of affection and they were filled with joy and smiles. I said "hola" "como esta?" to one man and he said. "muy bien, porque mi dios es magnifico!" first time meeting him and he was a very elderly man whose body was weak and frail, but that wasnt stopping him from giving all the credit of his happiness to the Lord. I'm still struggling with the language, but tomorrow we start class, so hopefully, my language provenciacy will grow more every day. I'm praying every day for all my family and friends back home that their summer is as life changing as mine and that the Lord grows each one of them. "Cristo es mi vida!" "Enamorado de Jesus!" Psalms 119:26

Preparing My Heart for Guatemala

2009-05-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

<3>

Pour Out :

Pour out your water
That I might take a sip
Your love consumes me
Every drip
It is like Honey
On my lips
Pour out your water
That I might take a sip

Your words
are a lamp unto my feet
when I walk down these
Dark and Lonely streets
You are all I need

Pour out your mercy
and clear this busy mind
your love is like eating
a slice of apple pie
It is like sugar on my tounge
So pour out your mercy
clear my busy mind

Your words
are a lamp unto my feet
when I walk down these
Dark and Lonely streets
You are all I need

By: Shawn McDonald

*Use Me Lord!*

Proverbs 16: 11
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.